Making meaningful connections isn’t about talking the most or showing off. It’s about fostering a genuine exchange that makes others feel valued and heard. Yet, many of us unknowingly engage in behaviors that create barriers, leaving conversations feeling flat or one-sided.
Here are 8 behaviors to avoid if you want to elevate your conversational skills and build stronger connections.
Dominating
“Stop hogging the spotlight.”
Everyone has experienced the frustration of being in a conversation where one person won’t stop talking. While sharing your thoughts is important, being a great conversationalist is about balance. Listen actively and give the other person equal space to share their stories and insights.
Self-Centeredness
“It’s not all about you.”
One of the biggest mistakes people make is constantly bringing the conversation back to themselves. Imagine someone confiding in you, only for you to repeatedly say, “I went through the same thing when…”
Instead, focus on their experiences. Offer empathy and support without shifting the spotlight. By keeping the conversation centered on the other person, you’ll strengthen your connection and show that you truly care.
Avoiding Eye Contact
“Look them in the eye.”
Maintaining eye contact signals trust, warmth, and sincerity. Research even suggests that steady eye contact makes you seem more likable and reliable. On the flip side, avoiding eye contact can make you appear disinterested or even dishonest.
The next time you’re in a conversation, make a conscious effort to meet the other person’s gaze—it’s a small change with a big impact.
Checking Your Phone
“Put your phone away.”
Few things ruin a conversation faster than a buzzing phone. Glancing at your screen sends the message that the person in front of you isn’t your priority. It might be tempting to check that notification, but resist the urge. Keeping your phone tucked away shows respect and allows you to stay fully present.
Disinterest
“Show that you care.”
If you’re not fully engaged, the other person will notice. Conversations thrive on genuine curiosity. Ask follow-up questions, express interest in their stories, and actively participate. People open up more when they feel that their words are truly heard and valued.
Over-Complimenting
“Don’t overdo the flattery.”
Compliments are great, but too many can feel insincere. Instead of piling on generic praise, focus on meaningful and specific compliments that show you’ve paid attention. For example, instead of saying, “You’re amazing!” try, “I really admire how dedicated you are to your work.”
Interrupting
“Let them finish.”
Interrupting someone mid-sentence is one of the quickest ways to derail a conversation. Even if you’re eager to share your thoughts, wait until the other person is finished speaking. This shows respect and demonstrates that you value their input.
Negativity
“Keep it positive.”
Complaining or constantly focusing on the negative can drain the energy from a conversation. While it’s okay to share struggles, balance them with optimism and positive topics. A little positivity goes a long way in making you more engaging and uplifting to talk to.
Being an engaging conversationalist isn’t about dazzling others with your stories or jokes—it’s about creating a space where others feel comfortable, valued, and connected. Focus on being interested rather than interesting, and watch your conversations transform.
By letting go of these eight behaviors, you’ll not only become a better communicator but also cultivate deeper and more meaningful relationships. Here’s to building bridges, one conversation at a time!
FAQs
Why is eye contact important in conversations?
Eye contact builds trust and makes you appear more sincere.
How can I avoid dominating a conversation?
Practice active listening and let others share equally.
What’s wrong with checking my phone?
It signals disinterest and devalues the other person’s presence.
How do I show genuine interest?
Ask follow-up questions and make relevant, thoughtful comments.
Why should I avoid negativity?
Negativity can drain the conversation and make you less engaging.
